I’m a fan of a good, well-crafted insult. So imagine my excitement when I saw this list of the 50 best literary insults. Here are some of my favorites from books I love:
“This liberal doxy must be impaled upon the member of a particularly large stallion!” — From A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole
“I told him he didn’t even care if a girl kept all her kings in the back row or not, and the reason he didn’t care was because he was a goddam stupid moron. He hated it when you called him a moron. All morons hate it when you call them a moron.” — From The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
“If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.” — From Timequake by Kurt Vonnegut
“Don’t fool yourself, my dear. You’re much worse than a bitch. You’re a saint. Which shows why saints are dangerous and undesirable.” — From The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
“I never saw anybody take so long to dress, and with such little result.” — From The Importance of Being Earnest by Oscar Wilde
“She’s not leaving me. Certainly not for a common swindler who’d have to steal the ring he put on her finger.” — From The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
“I could get you strung up in a tree so easy it ain’t even funny.” — From Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
“Don’t feel sorry for yourself. Only assholes do that.” — From Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami
Very good!