If you’re a writer who has dared to submit something for publication, then you have dealt with rejection. Unless you’re some lucky bastard, in which case go away.
Writers, like most creative people, are sensitive, so it’s a cruel irony that the writing business is so insensitive. It’s like bootcamp for those of us born with thin skin. I had a really difficult time with rejection in the beginning. I just assumed that if I finished a book and sent it off, it would be published, magically. Why wouldn’t someone want to publish it? Oh, reality, you can be so harsh.
Getting rejected by a publisher or an editor or an agent is like being rejected by a lover. There is that same ache, that same, “What’s wrong with me?” followed by various stages of grief — anger, denial, more anger, acceptance (eventually). There may be tears or vows to give up (writing, dating, whatever). But, really, you just kind of go on and trust that there will be someone out there who “gets” you, someone willing to take a chance with you. And when that connection is made, it will make all the other situations that didn’t work out worth the pain.
Or that’s my thought. I’m an ever-hopeful romantic with my head in the clouds, perpetually, so take my words with the proverbial grain of salt.
I’m always encouraged when I hear about authors who are rejected by a number of publishers/editors/agents before hitting it big. J.K. Rowling is the example usually cited. Harry Potter was rejected by 12 publishing houses (they are probably kicking themselves now) before it was sold to a small house in London.
Similarly, Kathryn Stockett’s The Help was rejected by 60 (60!) literary agents before Susan Ramer signed her. The book is now a best seller.
In an article with MORE, Sockett talks about how she persevered despite feeling embarrassed and ashamed of all the rejections, not to mention doubtful of her entire project.
She says:
“In the end, I received 60 rejections for The Help. But letter number 61 was the one that accepted me. After my five years of writing and three and a half years of rejection, an agent named Susan Ramer took pity on me. What if I had given up at 15? Or 40? Or even 60?”
Her advice?
“The point is, I can’t tell you how to succeed. But I can tell you how not to: Give in to the shame of being rejected and put your manuscript—or painting, song, voice, dance moves, [insert passion here]—in the coffin that is your bedside drawer and close it for good.”
In short: Don’t give up. It’ll happen.
Nice piece! I didn’t know that about Kathryn Stockett.
What did you think of “I Don’t Care…”? It seemed to get violently negative reviews on Amazon.
It got negative reviews on Amazon? I LOVED it!!
i love stories of rejection too. i can’t stand it when i hear an actor booked the first thing they auditioned for and has been on a roll ever since.
Right! I can’t stand hearing about writers who publish the first thing they send out into the world! Most of us have to deal with criticism and a slew of “no, thanks.”