This past weekend, I was having another bout of self-doubt (hey, I rhymed!) as I worked on a new novel. I started whining to my husband about how I don’t know where this book is going or if I can pull off the story and emotion I want. He said, “You’ll figure it out. Just keep going.” This type of advice usually aggravates me because it implies that writing a book is, like, no big deal. Then I remembered that it really isn’t that big of a deal. It’s just writing. I’m not curing cancer. I probably need to lighten up a little bit.
This section from Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert rang true as I was struggling yesterday:
“Every artist complains, so it’s a dead and boring topic. (From the volume of complaints that emerges from the professional creative class, you would think these people had been sentenced to their vocations by an evil dictator, rather than having chosen their work with a free will and an open heart.)… Of course it’s difficult to create things; if it wasn’t difficult, everyone would be doing it, and it wouldn’t be special or interesting.”
Yes! There are times I open my laptop with serious dread. I don’t have an evil dictator, but I do have a drill sergeant and his orders go like this: “You need to write X pages and you need to write them TODAY. RIGHT NOW, actually. Because you’re not going to have any other time this week and then you’re going to lose interest in the story completely and be a loser without a novel in progress.” And I wonder why it’s hard to enjoy the process…
I think there are two ways to try to enjoy the process a bit more:
1. Accept that it’s not always easy. It’s not supposed to be. Embrace the bad days, knowing they are inevitable.
2. Take the pressure off. Like I said, I’m not curing cancer here. The world will go on if I don’t get to page 160. Gilbert talks about this in her book. She makes a daring statement: Art is meaningless. To some, this may be a discouraging thought, but I find it to be a freeing one. (I also find it freeing to know life is finite, so maybe I’m a weirdo).
Gilbert writes:
“My creative expression must be the most important thing in the world to me (if I am to live artistically), and it also must not matter at all (if I am to live sanely).”
It’s a tricky balance between attachment and detachment, passion and apathy. I don’t always get it right, which is why I’m not always sane. But, really, I need to stop with the whining. For my husband’s sake.
I love that Elizabeth Gilbert quote about being a partner to inspiration.
It seems like there must be a sweet spot between blowing off writing to go watch Netflix, and giving yourself permission to sometimes choose not to write.
Question: are you going to have a book tour? 🙂
Yes, that’s exactly it–the balance between giving yourself a break and pushing yourself. I struggle with that.
I won’t have an official tour (it seems those are rare these days), but I am doing a couple events in Southern California. I might add events to places I happen to be visiting friends/family. We’ll see 🙂
Let me know if you’re thinking about Houston! I’d love to show you around.
Cool, I’ll let you know if I make it out that way!